Club Nintendo Successor Announced: “New Club Nintendo XL”

Club_NintendoNintendo has announced that their long running customer loyalty program, Club Nintendo, will be discontinued in the coming months. At the time of this announcement, they made mention of a successor to the program, but details were not available. Now, we are proud to bring you details exclusively given to us about the new program.

“We’ve decided that Club Nintendo simply wasn’t…big enough, you know? Even the name sounds a little…old,” Nintendo of America’s Internet mascot and head honcho Reggie Fils-Aime explains in an e-mail. “I’m proud to reveal that our new program will be called New Club Nintendo XL, and it has some really great features.”

It sounds promising, but it’s not quite what you might be expecting. “People have been asking us for years to integrate an online infrastructure similar to Xbox Live and Playstation Network that work around an account system. With New Club Nintendo XL, for the fee of $15 a month, $25 for three months, or $50 for twelve months, you will now have all of your game purchases tied to your account. In addition, using this service, you’ll have access to New Messaging, which is our messaging app. You’ll also need it to play online once the service launches in Q3 2015.”

“Now I know what you’re thinking – ‘Reggie, where are our rewards?’ – well, you’re in luck. New Club Nintendo XL features a wide variety of prizes you can redeem with coins obtained from buying games. In this region, in order to maximize the value of your options, New Club Nintendo XL gives you coins on digital purchases, and the prizes you can spend the coins on are also digital games in your library. We understand that our fans aren’t particularly fond of change, so we tried to make sure nobody would worry about having to get used to the New program.”

We’ve reached out to our sibling news teams in other regions of the world, who confirm that their versions of the service, simply New Club Nintendo, is a free service which provides coins for all Nintendo game purchases, where coins can be converted to cash vouchers for the eShop, along with all the other perks of America’s New Club Nintendo XL, including online play, New Messaging, and an account system. However, for our foreign friends who want the choice to super size their gaming experience, New Club Nintendo XL is an optional premium service that not only doubles coins earned, but it also lets you spend those coins on all sorts of items, including physical soundtracks, posters, plushies, and various other knick-knacks. We can confirm that New Club Nintendo XL in the United Kingdom and Australia will come with a subscription to New Official Nintendo Magazine XL, while New Club Nintendo XL in Japan is expected to come with a subscription to New Nintendo Dream, with each issue being packaged with a Jumbo-sized promotional Pokémon trading card. In addition, all regions with support for the regular New Club Nintendo will offer trial codes with no hoops to jump through, for either New Club Nintendo or New Club Nintendo XL members in these regions.

Upon discovering these facts, we responded to Fils-Aime, asking if we could expect something similar to come to the States in the future, perhaps even New Nintendo Power XL.

“No. That’s all my decision, and you know the best part? You’ll all still idolize me anyway.”

Praise Reggie.

-Lord Pitaya

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