Nintendo’s First Smartphone App Will Be Like Tinder For Gamers

As Nintendo’s stock prices rise, so does the interest of the shareholders. They’re just as curious as the average consumer is about what the primarily console-based gaming company is going to do now that they’ve broken down their personal barrier with mobile devices.

Video Entertainment Analysis Group was able to get an exclusive interview with Nintendo of America COO Reggie Fils-Aime at a very romantic Italian restaurant. On a side note, Mr. Fils-Aime looks rather handsome by candlelight.

Great looking guy.

Great looking guy.

 

Time was of the essence, naturally, so after our appetizers (loaded potato skins, for those who’re wondering) were finished, we jumped right into the questioning.

VEAG: So, Mr. Fils-Aime, things are looking pretty hopeful for Nintendo right now, wouldn’t you agree?

Fils-Aime: They certainly are. Oh, most definitely. In fact, we can’t wait to see what the rest of 2015 has in store for us.

VEAG: Tell us a little more about your plans for putting Nintendo products on smartphones and tablets.

Fils-Aime: Well, we’ve certainly been taking notice of what kind of games and apps are most popular for mobile devices, as well as which games and apps have the best user feedback. We don’t just want to produce something that will be popular for a week and then never be used again. Remember Ello? Anyway, we have a lot of ideas that are in the pipeline at the moment. You’re sure to hear more about them at upcoming events, or in my bedroom if you leave with me right now.

VEAG: Wait, what…?

Fils-Aime: You’ve been giving me the look all night and we’re not even on our third drink. I know what you want. I can give it to you.

VEAG: Reggie…I’m…

Fils-Aime: No. Don’t say anything. This is just us. This is just tonight. All these other people in here…all the other people in the world: they’re nothing compared to me and you, in this moment. Let’s get out of here.

VEAG: I need something to bring back to my editor…

Fils-Aime: We’re working on a smartphone app like Tinder, but for gamers. It’ll be like StreetPass on 3DS, but without the 3DS, so nothing happens; you just know there’s another person around who plays Nintendo games. Maybe you can hook up with them or something, I dunno. There’s left swipes and right swipes and all that bullshit that people expect from technology now. We might be calling it NinTinder. So, can we leave?

VEAG: I think so, yeah.

Fils-Aime: Good.

VEAG: Wait!

Fils-Aime: What?!

VEAG: I want you to shove one of those gold Mario Amiibo’s up my ass.

Fils-Aime: Uh, aren’t you still on the record…?

VEAG: Nah, I turned it – oh goddamn it!

After Reggie and I had such a great night, I thought I'd try making a logo for his new app. Hope he likes it! <3 :3

After Reggie and I had such a great night, I thought I’d try making a logo for his new app. Hope he likes it!

For more updates on Nintendo’s bold new adventures into mobile gaming, please stay tuned to Video Entertainment Analysis Group.

Intellectual Always,

VEAG.

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